Redefining Your “Why”: Finding Purpose in God’s Calling, Not People’s Approval

²⁹Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. ³⁰ And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ ³¹ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31 NLT)

“I just want to help people.” 

“I just want to make a difference.” 

How many times have we heard this? Said this? Believed this for ourselves? With all of the best intentions we can muster, we pursue that degree, career, promotion. All in the name of “helping people”. 

Here’s the deal: there’s nothing wrong with wanting to help people or to make a difference. It’s a good thing, a biblical thing. In fact, Jesus commands us to “go and make disciples,” and we often see him healing the sick and comforting those in need. 

But here’s where we go wrong. 

If our motive, our reason for pursuing whatever it is we’ve decided to do, is to help people, then our sense of accomplishment and our measurement of success lies in the hands of those we are helping. We wait on them to make us feel like we are living with purpose. We wait on the wink or a nod from our boss, a positive Google review from a new customer, a raise, a sweet compliment from a co-worker. But the catch is, if you live for someone’s approval, rejection and failure are disastrous for your self-esteem. Without affirmation from those you are helping, you might often feel like a failure, a lost cause, like you aren’t actually making a difference or helping anyone. 

In truth, we are giving others power over our self-esteem, confidence, security, and even our worth. We are allowing them to steer the ship of our heart. The results we are producing then dictate our sense of accomplishment in doing a job well done. We only feel good about ourselves if we are making the mark. 

And somewhere along the way, it becomes part of our identity, and that “feel good” feeling doesn’t feel like it’s enough. The success, the positive feedback, becomes our lifeline, and it’s never good enough. 

“Just one more patient to treat.” 

“One more client to help financially.” 

“One more business deal to close.” 

“Just one more student to impact.” 

“If I could only make more money so that I can actually do what I want to.” 

“That promotion would help me actually help the people I came here to help.” 

“If only I had that as my job, then I’d really be making a difference.”

I’ll be bold for a moment, go off on a limb, and just say it. 

If you’re being obedient to the call of the Father, you don’t have to worry about the results of the place and the season you’re in. You can find security in knowing that you are exactly where you’re meant to be because it’s where God wants you to be. You can treat a failure or a setback as something that happened and learn from it instead of allowing it to define you and tell you how to feel. 

The results, the fruit of your labor, helping and loving people, are a by-product of your love and obedience to what God thinks of you and where He leads you. 

If He’s called you to it, He’ll see you through it. 

Jesus said that the most important thing was to love God with everything you’ve got. Focus on that. Let His Love lead the way. Helping people, loving people, is from the overflow of that. It’s a side effect of loving God. You can’t help but love others and want to make a difference. 

So if you’re struggling with feeling a sense of purpose in the season you’re in, focus on God. His love will guide your heart, your attitude, your words, and maybe even your feet. He’ll give you new eyes to see the world and a heart to love it the way it needs to be loved.

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard was given to me second-hand. A friend of a friend passed it down the grapevine. I was in college, praying through opportunities, giftings, where the Lord would have me go, and what He’d have me do after graduation. The opportunities were endless, the world my oyster. It was overwhelming. Scary. Do I go home? Stay where I’m at? Do I teach? Get my master’s? How do I know the right school? The right church? What’s next? 

“Don’t go where you’re needed. Go where you’re called” 

The truth is, you’re needed in every room you walk into. As a believer, the world is begging for you in every room, in every conversation and interaction. The love and grace that you carry in your spirit are needed in a world of darkness and brokenness. This world doesn’t know the good news like you do. And they need to hear it. 

But at the end of the day, you have to go where you’re called. Because where you’re called has God’s stamp of approval, His protection, His blessing. Going where you’re called reassures you that God put you there. There’s security in knowing that you are where you’re meant to be. So that on the rainy days ahead, you’ll have a holy confidence that this is the place that God has you. A storm won’t deter that. 

But how do I know where to go and what to do? How do I figure out my purpose? 

More on that next time. Finding your purpose is fun! It doesn’t have to be scary. As a believer, you have access to the Holy Spirit, the best guide of all. 

In the meantime, here’s a quote from a leadership book that I absolutely love and find relevant to where we are today. 

“God’s love will change you and, by extension, change your leadership. You will see leadership differently: it becomes less about power and control and more about the stewardship of the people you touch and of the work God has given you to do. You will see people differently, too: rather than seeing them as a means to accomplish the results you want, you realize that God has the same love for them that He has for you. Work becomes an act of worship and your workplace an outpost of God’s kingdom. You are no longer threatened by feedback; you no longer lead out of fear or cause others to be fearful of you. Accepting and abiding in God’s unconditional love changes you and lays the foundation…that will help you lead like Jesus.”[1]

Footnotes:

[1] Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges, and Phyllis Hendry Page, Lead Like Jesus, 93.